Qatsite 2.0

Ca n’a rien à voir avec la maison, mais je … devais … vous linker ça.

YouTube – Pachelbel Rant

Bien sûr, une bonne compréhension de l’anglais est nécessaire, mais ça reste un moment d’humour et une prestation exceptionnels.

Début de retranscription ci-dessous. Merci à Urdle pour l’aide

(Plays basic Pachelbel melody all along”)

I wanna leave you with this little story. It’s about this piece of music. It’s a very popular piece of music, I’m sure you all now it. I’ll sing the melody right now.

La lalala, … (sings Pachelbel’s “Cannon in D” melody over the guitar).

Yeah, Pachelbel’s “Cannon in D”. It’s a big hit in the classical world, and I know this because I’m a geek. I know what you’re thinking : “Rob, you can’t be a geek. You play guitar, you’re cool”… OK, you weren’t thinkink that, but I was. Err…

But I haven’t always been this cool, because I haven’t always been playing guitar. I started out with a cello. Yeah… a cello is a wonderful, beautiful instrument. It’s cool to be an adult and play a cello. Being a kid and play a cello SUCKED. ‘Cause there’s no way to be cool with an instrument that is larger than you. When you walk to school with a cello, you’re like a wounded gazelle on the Serengeti. The bullies just smell you coming from a mile away, you know : ” (Sniffs the air) Woah, I don’t know what that thing is but I know I’m gonna break it”.

But I put up with all of the abuse, because I loved the music that we played. I loved everything that we played in orchestra, except this…

I hate Pachelbel’s “Cannon in D” with a passion. I hate it so much because the cello part is the worst cello part ever written in the history of cello parts. It’s eight quarter notes that we reapeted over and over again. They are as follows :

(plays while quoting the note) “D”. “A”. “B”. “F#” (“F sharp”) “G”. “D”. “G”. “A”.

That’s all that we had to play. We repeated those 8 notes 54 times. I counted. Because I had nothing else to do. I would sit back and listen to violins get lovely melodies, the viola would get lovely melodies, the second violins would get lovely melodies, whitch should just not happen. And the cello would get stuck with 8 crappy, lousy, stinking notes. And I began to wonder why. Why would Pachelbel do that to such a beautiful instrument ?

And my theory was : he once dated a celloist and she (? dissed) him really bad, and for the rest of his life he came up with the worst cello parts he could ever think of.

It would not be so bad if I didn’t have to hear it everyday. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Rob, don’t listen to the classical radios anymore.

I…It doesn’t matter. Pachebel’s following me. It sounds paranoid, but he’s following you too. You hear him every day. I don’t know, I went to my step-nephew annual eight grade graduation, and their graduation song by Vitamine C, now : (sings it over the basic melody) “As we go on, we remember…(turns into Pachelbel’s melody) La LALALA !!! …”

So I drive home and I tune on to some classic rock, some Aerosmith : “There was a time when I was so brocken heart and…(turns into Pachelbel’s melody) LALALA !!! …”

So I get home and I thought I would clear my mind with some folk music… NO : “Listen children to my story, it was written long ago about (turns into Pachelbel’s melody) LALALA !!! …”

They do Pachelbel, just like everybody does Pachelbel just to torment me. I don’t even go to Taco Bell anymore, that sounds too close.

I hate Pachelbel with a passion. I don’t even now his first name. It’s probably Johann. They’re all named Johann. The only thing about him is he’s the original one-hit-wonder. He had one hit 300 years ago. It’s my cross to bear it my entire life.

Where are they now ? That’s what I wanna know. WHERE ARE YOU NOW, PACHELBEL ?? VH1′s I Love the 1790′s. Where is it ?

If he had stayed away from the music that I love it would have been better but he won’t. He is shameless. He will follow me to the end of the earth.

A suivre dès que j’ai le temps !